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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The “Marisa Mell” DIY Hour!

…And we are back after this commercial break with the second part of the Marisa Mell “Do-It-Yourself” Hour were Austrian beauty and famous movie star Marisa Mell teaches us to DIY in a very responsable way. Remember, safety comes first with DIY! This part of the hour we are going to concentrate on redecorating a kitchen or living room. Before starting to redecorate your room you should always read up on the latest fashion trends for your new interior by checking out the latest issues of your favorite yellow press magazine where the stars and starlets of the moment show you without remorse their living, bed and bathrooms that they have build and furnished thanks to generous sponsors and are now willing to sell the photo’s to the gossip magazines, which they otherwise loath, for megabucks. No problem. No privacy issues here, darling. Ubermoney in their pockets can be very persuasive to open up otherwise closed doors. Only when paparazi are taking pictures from the stars without the stars getting the money than privacy becomes a big issue for them. Notice the professional DIY cloths that Marisa Mell is wearing to do the job! Nothing less than the top designers of our time are good enough! You should not settle for less, baby, when renovating your home. Remember, dressed for the occassion makes the work already half done! And if you have no suitable cloths for the job then it is a good excuse to take sugar daddy with you on another shopping spree to the Champs Elysée, Knightsbridge or Fifth Avenue and maybe if he is really in a good mood he’ll even take you with his Lear Jet to Dubai or Hong Kong to browse the designer stores. We keep our fingers crossed! So ask him gently! Somebody has to carry the credit cards and shopping bags, honey, and it centainly isn’t going to be you! When your sugar daddy of the moment and you have returned from the trip it is time to get things done in your new home. Be fully dressed up as if you’re going to meet the Queen of England. Now is the perfect moment to invite your favorite yellow press magazine to take pictures of you and your hubby in exchange for big dow while pretending to be working in the kitchen. The common people will love this. While taking the pictures look as if you know what you are doing, as if you have done these things a thousand times in all your homes scattered around the world. Do not look directly into the lens of the camera but look at your partner or into the room that you are going to decorate. Let you better half look into some kind of a manual pretending to know what he is reading although he has no clue what you have given him. So it doesn’t matter what the booklet is about, let’s call it a prop. And finally try to stand elegantly while taking the pictures. You are a first class actress, schooled in one of the best theatre schools in the world. So you know how to stand on a stage floor, don’t you? So no crouching, girlfriend, unless the object you carry is really heavy. And now to the centre piece: redecorating the living room. First you remove all the old wall papers from the walls. Never mind removing them while you are working. It gives the room a rather cosy atmosphere and shows the work that you already have done. Besides they can catch very well the painting that might be dripping from your paint brush. You should already be proud of yourself. Next you need to find a ladder to work the upper parts of the walls of your room. The best ladders to work with are the ones that are the most unbalanced. This makes it easy to reach a large part of the walls without getting each time down from the ladder and replacing the damned thing to the next spot and climbing up again. A plus also is always having small steps on the ladder so you can come down very quickly if it is necessary for example when a female friend calls you to ask how work is progressing or asking to go to lunch with her. Because you are already dressed to the hilt you just have to put everything aside and make it to the restaurant. Another inside tip is wearing shoes that have high heels. They give the extra weight that you might need to keep the ladder and yourself in balance. And while talking of balance. Always put the ladder as far away as possible from the wall that you are going to paint. The best distance is when you just can reach the wall with the brush of your paint brush. A friend of mine gave the advice to put always a person that you love between yourself, the ladder and the wall that you are painting. So when you might fall down he is there to catch you in a romantic way. And while he is standing there anyway he might as well be useful to you so give him the bucket with the paint to hold. As a compensation for the long hours standing you might like to wear a mini skirt as eye candy for your man like Marisa Mell does. And that’s the way you should DIY. Next time in the “Marisa Mell DIY Hour” we will be tackling the garden. Untill next time! Goodnight, DIY'ers

1 comment:

Keith said...

Hey Mirko. Wow. I loved this post. This is one of your best yet. It was quite fun to read. You did a cool job with this one. I hope you're having a great week.

Not sure how much you like blaxploitation movies, but I hope you'll check out the latest post on my Sugar & Spice blog. It's about Tamara Dobson aka Cleopatra Jones. Thanks. I'd love to hear your comments on it.